Community Development Family Perspective Relationships

Side Chick Vs. Sister Wife Part 2

Many, if not all relationships, come with the good, bad, and ugly!! But, because of all the members present in one family, Polygamist relationships sometimes come with more bad than good, and these pros and cons of Polygamy goes as follows:

For one, it gives people freedom of choice. Women will still be able to choose their partners and not be forced into such kind of relationship. Also, it offers the husband respect and admiration. Men who are into Polygamous unions usually have more than enough income to support his families. This means they will have economic stability and a good reputation in the community. This also means the wives can work on their schooling, gain a career of their own, as well as spend more time with the kids, if kids are in the picture. You are provided a better support system within polygamous families because you will have more members. You’ll always have a shoulder to cry on and someone you can relate to.

The sisterhood between wives is the most beautiful when the women truly love for the sake of each other and are on the same accord! Most importantly, it prevents adultery, because there is no extra-marital affair to hide from your partner. This reduces adultery to a non-issue and prevents the temptation of cheating on your spouse…usually! Some men we know are just greedy, especially when there’s a woman HE wants, but doesn’t want to participate in polygamy, OR the wives don’t agree upon it. It happens…

For every action, there is a reaction, and when you have heaven, you also have hell! Here are a few CONS of Polygamy. Firstly, it can be the cause for abuse of power. Usually, in any household, the man is the head of the family. He has the power to make the necessary decisions in the household which could result in hurting one of the wife’s feelings. And being as though many women suffer from insecurity, they usually put up with it in fear of being replaced. This can be a dangerous thing. It causes rebellion amongst the wives, and it usually doesn’t end well. Jealousy can naturally occur in any household, but it’s very common in Polygamy because most women suffer from what I call the “Number Complex.” This means one wife may think she’s better than, or entitled to more, because she was first. In my past relationships, we didn’t do numbers. There is no 1st wife, 2nd, or 3rd. We were just his wives!

These pros and cons can be experienced in any relationship, Mono or Poly. So again, why would you rather put up with constant cheating, rather than embracing a bond?

A few misconceptions of Polygamy that need to be buried away are the idea of orgies and threesomes. It all depends on the dynamic of your relationship. Even though a lot of Polygamous relationships are in the same household, there are a greater amount of families who live in separate households. There’s also a lot of women who aren’t physical with the other wives, and there are some cases where they are. It all depends on what you agreed on. And then what really makes me upset is how people bring up diseases as if they don’t exist in Monogamous relationships as well. If anything, diseases are more common in Monogamy only because people are sneaking around and cheating without a care in the world nowadays. I can’t speak on anybody else’s relationship; however, I can say anytime I have considered being in a polygamous relationship, we have all brought paperwork of our status in the beginning dating stages. We check mental and physical health before anything transpires. And it’s not just me that does this. Many Polygamist people I know do the same; it’s only right!

As I mentioned in the first article, I’m not putting this information out there to change anybody’s mind. I just want to kill all the ignorance that comes with Polygamous relationships. Like they say on Good Times, “What might be right for you, may not be right for some”

So, the next time somebody expresses that they’re Polyamorous or Polygamous, or even a woman who practices polyandry, don’t scrunch your nose up like your relationship is any better. You could be in a Polygamous relationship and not even know it to be honest. So let’s not dwell on what goes on in the privacy of other people’s homes. Learn to love, share the knowledge, and mind your damn business! LOL.

But seriously, we’re nobody to judge! We all have our own lives to live. I just hope this helped the close-minded as well as the ignorant. I too was one of those women who was completely against Polygamy, and then I tried it for myself, and I enjoyed it.

I hope I’ve touched most, if not all the areas of confusion regarding this subject. If anybody ever has any questions or concerns, or is in a Poly-lationship that they may need advice on it, please feel free to contact me anytime at Toriimes@gmail.com I am available 24/7

Peace, love & light.

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