Those of us who are looking for “the one” tend to rush into monogamous relationships. Someone shows us attention, makes us laugh, does things for us, we lay claim right away. The problem with this is that most people are on their best behavior… in the beginning.
The best practice would be to just be cool. Men tend to do this anyway, and often it is women who have declared a relationship while the man is still just having a good time. Unfortunately, men also tend to be possessive, so many men won’t argue against a woman’s ‘exclusive’ label, but he won’t necessarily abide by it. He may be perfectly happy with her being with only him, while he plays the field without her knowledge.
Ladies, what you want to do is find a friend. Find guy who does it for you, and date him. Matter of fact, find several guys like this, and date them all. I’m not saying have sex with them all. If you feel you have to, or you just want to, pick one of them to be physical with. This is not a suggestion to play the field. This isn’t an instruction about how to be a pimp or a player. You should tell each one of them that you’re not looking for a committed relationship right now, but if that’s what develops, then so be it.
The average dude will be just fine with this, as long as you don’t talk about the others around him. Now, if he starts to really feel you, he will begin to ask questions about who else you’re dating. This one reason to lay the ground rules up front. You won’t ask him about whoever else he’s dating, and he won’t ask you. If he starts questioning, remind him that he agreed to the arrangement. If he insists on making more of it, or if he’s pushing for monogamy before you’re sure, cut him off. I suggest giving him a warning on the first offense, but after that, it’s done.
You want time to feel each guy out. Don’t overload yourself, but don’t limit yourself either. You want to find the one who is good for you in every way you need. You want to find the one who will be the friend and the lover. You want that one who, if you’re ever injured or ill and can’t have sex, he is right there. You want the one who you have more than just lust with. You want the one who will be on the porch with you, when you’re old, enjoying life, and enjoying each other.
You want a partner in love. You want that man who will make your best girlfriend jealous of your relationship. In order to have this, you have to take your time. There are no guarantees, this is true, but you stand a much better chance of having a lasting relationship if you take the time to know him on a deeper level, before you agree to be his only boo.
Healthy relationships are part of a healthy lifestyle. You deserve to be mo better!