Health Mental Health Relationships

Angry… Black… huh?

What’s up with the “angry Black woman”? She’s probably depressed and she doesn’t know it. She probably feels defeated or frustrated or lost, but she pushes forward… with a perpetual negative outlook on life, a tendency to not trust anyone, a fuse that is short, and a countenance that says “try me if you want to”, even to people who likely had no intention of doing such.

We often hear about this woman, and the story is usually followed by something like “ain’t nobody got time for that”, but maybe that’s a great part of the problem. Aside from that, how often do we see women, including these “angry Black women” who stick by men who are ALSO depressed, and constantly self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, and/or women?

Not only are they sticking by these men, but trying their best to pull them up, give them support, and even financially provide for them…. anything she can do to help him to recognize or fulfill his potential… even if, for her, it’s nothing but detrimental.

It doesn’t matter that he may be just as emotional, or more so, since anger is a completely acceptable emotion from men. He may have just as short a fuse, and he might erupt… all over her… physically. He may be listless and lack motivation to do much of anything. He still won’t be bad-mouthed to degree she is.

Despite the MANY examples of issues among men, it is SHE who has a bad rep and who has become the butt of far too many jokes. Yet the man who’s need for help is more evident, or at least more readily recognized, can consistently resist and refuse the various tools available to help rectify his issues, and people will not only be accepting of it, but also assist him in engaging in the unhealthy behaviors.

I remember, when I was a pre-teen and early teen, people would always say to me “smile” or “who pissed you off?”. I didn’t know what they were talking about. Nothing was wrong with me, as far as I knew. I was looking normal… just happened that my normal face looked mad or sad. I didn’t know, till later, that I was depressed.

Not every person who is depressed will be angry, or drink or do drugs. The methods of self-medicating may vary, and the behavior and attitude may also. No matter what, the person doesn’t likely realize what’s going on, doesn’t have much control over how they respond to it, and the necessity for understanding and help is the same.

Leave a Reply